Madalina's story

Filip Madalina
16 years, Oradea
This is my story…

It started on an ordinary Monday, everything was supposed to be just like any other day... I would have never expected my life to change. I touched my neck, habitually, and I felt a small lump.. I was scared, I ran to the school doctor, he told me it may just be a lymphnode. It was something I hadn’t heard before. The next day I went to my family doctor who sent me to the Children’s Hospital Oradea, Oncopediatrics Ward. On Wednesday, on my birthday, I started having many tests done... several doctors consulted me and a week later I was in the hospital, waiting for surgery. I thought that was the end, they will take out the harm and everything would be like before, but it wasn’t. They sent my lymphnode to Cluj for a pathology result that was supposed to be ready in 2 weeks. During this time, I had other tests done, I visited other doctors, I heard other assumed diagnosis. The 2 weeks passed... diagnosis – inconclusive, they didn’t know what was wrong with me.

Another month passed, and another lymphnode appeared. I decided to go to the Oncology Institute in Cluj-Napoca. I thought it would be like the first time, 3 days in the hospital and then I would be able to go home... but it wasn’t... I arrived on Wednesday and they operated on me the same day. In the evening, I heard the diagnosis.. Hodgkin lymphoma. The doctor told me there are two types of treatment, radio and chemotherapy, but she recommended chemotherapy. She talked to me about the side effects and the numerous cases of children that were cured. I felt my entire world colapsing...

I started chemotherapy, 8 one day cures, 8 weeks. At first, they passed quickly, but with time, I started feeling ill, the perfusions hurt, the two hour car trip was a torture. Everything ended on June 13 th, but by then a lot had happened: the relationships with my friends, with my classmates, with everyone, worsened, my hair had started falling, everything was terrible, until one day I started thinking a lot about myself, about my parents, about friends, colleagues, about everyone around me.. While I was crying that nobody cares about me I realized how much I was hurting everybody. I complained about the 8 treatments, about my suffering.

I opened my eyes and I saw I was lucky, I saw the hospital hallways filled with children, who hadn’t learned to read and count yet, chidren carrying perfusions, who had needle marks, scars from surgery, with diseases far worse than mine, tumors, cancer, leukemia... and they just wanted to be like the other children, to play, to ride the bike. I thought about each time I yelled at my parents to take the needle out, every time I had told them they don’t care about me, because they leave that awful perfusions in me ... but then I understood that they loved me and they only wanted to help me get rid of the terryfing disease. I thank them for letting me scream, for not giving up, for encouraging me all the time, for being there with me...

I continued to go to school during the treatment. Many times I used to look at my classmates and see how happy and careless they were. I envied them for their health, that I didn’t have. Many times I wanted to cry , until I realized: each of us has a destiny, with happiness, sadness, a life we must carry on living to show everyone that we are strong and we can hold on with the help of God.

The most important things that help in this kind of situations are the support of family and friends, the faith that YOU can defeat the disease with the help of God, keeping a positive attitude, believing in your own strength, always having a smile on your face, surpassing anything, no matter the barriers, remembering to be the same as before... Now, everything is back to normal, I became the same one I was before, although I have a scar to remind me of the things I’ve been through, of the suffering of others, of the fact that people must help each other in order to surpass troubles...

I want people to know now that there is a lot of suffering in this world, more important than a broken nail, a fight with the parents, a bad grade, a guy who left you. I learned to stop saying that I want to die, to be thankful for what I have, because there may be a day when life offers you an unpleasant surprise ...